Head in a better space

Headspace is getting better.

I feel better about things at the moment.

I have been in a funk for about 6 months and couldn't get out of it.

Phoned Josh (a personal trainer) today.  Anthea lost 50 kilos with him and she looks fantastic and I want to look fantastic.

He is coming over on the 23rd April (Wednesday) morning to talk over what we want to achieve.  Marina and I are going to do it together so it is $35 each when there is two of us and $50 if it is just one person with the training.

I want to go kayaking again with my family.  I felt alive and happy when I was kayaking and so Jeremy said he would buy me a Kayak for myself if I lost 20 kilos.

Went to the library today as we haven't been in like 6 years since the kids were little and got some books.  I rented the book by Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser and it got me so inspired.  I decided I would read it while going on the treadmill.  It isn't just about exercise it is about exercise and food and I think I have being doing it wrong for a while.  It was either exercise or food and that isn't right.  So I got on that treadmill for 30 minutes and read a book at the same time.  I should get on the treadmill every day as I don't have an excuse whatsoever.

I felt soooo uncomfortable in my clothes today and that is what triggered it.  I don't gain lots fast but I can't seem to lose the stupid weight. 

We have Adrianne and Robyn here for the weekend which is great to see them since they have moved down to Westport.  Great couple

Walking and Jogging me??? lol

Today is a holiday here (Monday) and we were going to sleep in but I got a bit restless and decided we all needed to get up and out on this beautiful summer day.

They always have a market on long weekends about 20 minutes drive from home.  So Q (son) J (hubby) and I went for a drive with Charlie (dog).  14 year old son (C) and my mum stayed at home as they didn't want to go out.

It was great to get out just the 3 of us and Charlie.  The craft fair was great but I was only interested in the rubber stamp stall as they usually have really good deals.  I brought 5 stamps (big one) for $45 so I was so happy about that.  Plus the walking around the stalls was better than being at home and sleeping it away.

I really want to get moving as I am really bad with the exercise and only getting in an average of 4,000 steps in a day and that isn't good.  At work I have a desk job and I just don't get off my backside and half the time I don't have a lunch break and I work longer hours then they pay me and I have to stop that.

If I can't do my work in the time that I have then they will have to sort out why as I work really hard.

We got home and I felt restless so we tried out a new park over the other side of town where it was a dog park and there were so many horrible hills but it was good for my heart.  We went down one of the hills after climbing it and then I started to jog a bit.  I felt really good about it... didn't last long but I did it.

Managed to make a card this afternoon as I had done my exercise and I didn't feel guilty about sitting in my craft room

Food has been terrible until today and exercise as well and I have to get back in to blogging again so that I can sort me out. 

I find when I am blogging and commenting on others blogs I am so much better. 

I want to lose this weight.

Hubby said I can go and buy one of those handbags I want $65 if I get down 5 kgs.  So I need to do this.

I was back up to 139.4 Saturday morning so 134.4 here I come... well my bag anyway.

Have a great night everyone

Changes a foot

Today has been an interesting one at work.

Sometimes I want to shake people.  Some people think they are so up in the sky (if you know what I mean) that us little plebs don't matter.  I hate the pretences and how they treat people.  Sometimes I sit there and think they don't understand how they are treating people and then I think better of it because they don't care.  They think solely of themselves and most people think that they are so far up themselves. 

I have worked with this person for a while and I still feel like she treats me like an idiot.  She is wonderful when she wants to now things or wants me to do things but otherwise I am just a person that is expendable and I have put up with it for so long.

I want to slap her!!! I used to sit there and hear other people complain about the same sort of thing from her and I couldn't see it... but now I do and can understand how people get mad.

Ok so enough of the moaning. 

I have been on track this week and hubby has been tracking the calories and I have been so good not to eat anything that I shouldn't. 

I haven't done much exercise but I want to get the food down first and then the exercise.

There are a couple of jobs I am applying for at the moment for more money in a workplace I have worked before. I am excited about them and would so much love to get one of them.  I know it is a long shot but it would be a fantastic opportunity. 

Things happening at work as we start this new year.  Two people have resigned and my job could be changing as a result.  Hopefully it is a good change???

Overall I want to be happy. 

First day back at work

Back at work today.  I love the work I do.  I just don't trust some of the people I work with.  They are lovely to people's faces but can be quite bitter behind some peoples backs.  It makes you wonder if they are doing it to you when your back is turned.

I have decided to just do my job and not remark about my weekends or after work stuff and communicate if they ask me anything.  It isn't worth the hassle.  It is not as good in that respect because I feel like I can never relax.

So first day back at work since 24 December 2013 and there was a lot of work to be done but it was a productive one.  I am short listing at the moment for an administrator and I must admit that is the fun part of my job.  I like choosing an administrator for the centres and feeling like I have chosen the right one to match the personalities and the job.  I hired 14 last year and all of them have stayed and have done well.  The other administrators that were hired by others have left.  I get enjoyment out of training them as well.  Such fun lol.  (that is on top of all the accounts work I do).

It is a great company to work for and I do love it but unfortunately with that many woman working in one place it can be difficult to get on with everyone.

Food wise I had a great breakfast and hubby brought in lunch and it was good and I chose fruit at morning tea (now that isn't normally for me).  Dinner tonight wasn't too bad (maybe a little too much carbs) but we had hubby's mother and two aunts over for dinner as they have travelled up (they live eight hours drive away from us).  It was a great night I love catching up with one of the aunts.... well both of them but I get on with one of them more as she is like me and so easy to talk to the other one is nice but I feel like I have to watch what I say (she is very much like my mother in law) where I feel like I will never match up and I am dumb compared to them.  They might not be wanting me to feel like that but I do.

Tracked the food and ate the food and worked and spent time with family.  What more to life is there?

I feel like I am on the right track to getting this weight off.